Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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