I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
