I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
