hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
