I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
