Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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