There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
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