i jhust puked up my retainher.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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