How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
