but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize