I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
