his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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