Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She told me I should be a condom model.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
