I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
