once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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