Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
