I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Randomize
