You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
