i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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