Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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