Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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