I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
