You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
