Duck Duck Cougar?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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