Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
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I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
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She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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