I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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