So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
