When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
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As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
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He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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