I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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