i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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