At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
