im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
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I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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