just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize