Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
