This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
