why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
