And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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