Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
