you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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