I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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