kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
