He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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