Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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