He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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