Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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