Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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