i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
