hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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