when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
