OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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