I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Randomize
