What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
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He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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