we have officially lost it.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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