i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
