im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize