Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
