Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
