she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize