Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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