We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
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I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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