i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
