There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Drunk is not a location!
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
