I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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