Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
