Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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