I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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