I'm really into asian looking animals
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
We have so much sex to catch up on
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
