I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
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I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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